When life gives you lemons

 ...make orange juice and leave the world wondering how you did it.
 So where exactly are the lemons?

Ah, these days la vie est un longue fleuve tranquille. Exams are over and although everybody says "your life is just beginning", I wonder what this "new life" is. I guess it's too early to call it a "new life" because the end of this chapter isn't even written yet. Still one oral exam left, then I'll probably take another oral exam to get a better grade, then the graduation ceremony and finally...yes, finally prom.
Then one could say the real life begins. Or is it somewhere in between of all these events?

The problem right now is just that I don't have a pattern anymore. Up to now, it was always getting up at 7am, wash up, dress, cuddle with David and suddenly it's 7.30. Time to get my things, grab something to eat and get to school last minute. Then you just sit there, listen to the teacher and before you realize it, it's already 1pm and school's over. Then I'd tutore some girls and then I would head home occupying myself with sweet nothings and totally irrelevant things before realizing at 9pm that I have to do my homework or prepare for the next day.
This sounds so bad when it's written down because I don't think I can say I lived. It's rather that I existed only.
Sometimes I look back and think "you could have done so much better if you would have just put a little bit more of effort into it" and although I know it already, I do not do anything. Perhaps I'm hopeless.

Hopeless also, because my plans are all upside down. Well, they would, at least, if I had plans. Which, by the way, I don't. No plans for the future.

Okay, I do but I don't know what to chose. I'm too undecided, like a buttefly always lingering at one place and going to the next flower in the next second. Somehow the thought of a gap year seems so appealing. But then there are my parents who would SO not approve of a gap year. Well, neither do they (read: my mom) approve of me going into pediatric nursing. But me going into International Business and Management...well, I don't know if I can really see me there. I only see the money. LOL. Joke. Half. Not. Just ignore that=__=°

Wednesday it's time for shopping and sushi in Nuremberg...Oh I'm loving it <3
And perhaps I will get my DSLR :D